The Rodeo

30 Days of writing: Day 4

There is a simple rule I was taught in primary school; it was re-iterated at high school, and the first thing any one is taught when learning to drive:

Keep Left* (unless overtaking).

This very simple rule saves a large amount of headache when a large number of people are trying to move in different directions in a restricted area.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of pedestrians in North Sydney are unaware of this principle. Upon alighting from the train, hundreds, if not thousands, of people spew into Greenwood plaza and proceed to fill any available space, the vast majority of whom seem to be short women, who walk at a pace of about one step every 3 seconds. If these people stuck to the left then those who wanted to move faster could easily move around the slower members of society, and then move as far to the left as they can once they have passed them. People trying to enter the station at the same time would have no difficulty walking past, as no-one would be bowled over and the awkward situation that occurs when two people are approaching one another directly, and no-one knows where to move to to prevent a collision. Here’s the simple answer: MOVE TO THE LEFT. If both parties move to their respective lefts, then the uncomfortable ‘dodge/whoops/swerve /one-more-try/sorry-about-that/embarrased-smile’ routine could be extinguished from this plane of existence.

Perhaps the government could run one of their expensive advertising campaigns… “Keep Left and no-one gets hurt” or something like that. I’m envisioning large, thuggish, pin-stripe suit wearing men hired to enforce the rule while the public is educated. These gorilla-men standing at the top of the escalators and near bus-shelters would peer intimidatingly over the tops of immense folded arms and grunt at passers-by. If anyone moves willingly into the path of oncoming pedestrians, they would be ushered away quickly into a nearby side-street or doorway and ‘persuaded’ to mend their ways.

A repeat offense would end with walking rights being denied for several weeks while the bones mend.

This brings me to another gripe I have, this one regarding escalator behaviour. What is with people hurrying along the footpath, grunting at innocents in their line of fire (normally those walkers doing the right thing: keeping left, where they should be if they are among the velocity-deprived), pushing aside those in their way and then… stopping on the escalators. In the right-hand side.

Why do people stop moving once they reach the escalators? Walking while riding the moving stairs increases your speed at no inconvenience to yourself. You don’t even have to stop to get off!.

That’s just about it for this grand rant. It has been hanging over me for a long while, I know there are other largish men, as well as some particularly enlightened women who keep left unless overtaking, and to these pedestrian paragons: I salute you.

*or Keep Right in the US… you understand the principle.

-RodeoClown

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