The Rodeo

30 Days of writing: Day 18

Dear Colin,

We’ve been friends for a long time; it’s been about 20 years since Mum introduced us. You used to look after my money when I measured it in cents, rather than dollars. You used to send me comics, and other surprises (I loved the pencilcase and ruler set by the way). You and I both appreciate that there is some history between us, and that’s what makes this so hard.

It seems you’ve been taking money out of my wallet whenever I’m not looking.

I don’t like making baseless accusations, but I’ve been noticing lately that everytime I get some money (my money) from you, there is less remaining than there should be. I didn’t mind the occasional borrow, but everytime you do anything for me (like pay the rent, power, internet or insurance bills with my money) feels a bit excessive. You already take a fee to look after it in the first place - which I don’t mind giving you each month - but you are using my money to generate some extra money for yourself and then taking fees and then taking some more every time I spend some of my money. I’m beginning to feel like I’m being conned. Especially when you charge me money for things you used to do for free… like provide me someone to talk to face-to-face at your little store-fronts. Also, why do I get less interest from you now than when I was five? You look after so much more of my money now. I’m getting really worried.

I have been thinking about ending our friendship for a while now, but you make it really hard to let go. You keep sending me letters telling me how much you appreciate my friendship but then I notice that you’re telling me that you are taking more of my money. Again.

I’m sorry Colin, but I can’t take your money-grabbing ways anymore.
I don’t think we can be friends any longer. Please give me back what’s left of my money.
Maybe if you change your ways we can be friends again, but for now I don’t want to see you anymore. I’m looking for new friends now. Friends who won’t keep taking my money all the time.

Yours Regretfully,
Ian

P.S. When someone is leaving and the hat gets passed around, next time can you refrain from putting in $17,500,000 on my behalf. I appreciate the gesture but next time, maybe, just give him a gold watch and a Myers voucher? Something a bit more reasonable. Thanks.

-RodeoClown

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