Why God?
December 7th, 2005 · Posted in Uncategorized ·
Last night I went to Annandale to meet Craig and hear him give a talk on his divorce, and where God was throughout that whole ordeal. It was a good talk, very open, and absolutely heart-wrenching. I was almost at tears at several points in the night.
He referenced Psalm 22, a poem/song written by king David, one of the first (well, the second) Jewish king. The psalm is an outpouring of grief and pain towards God: ‘How could you let this happen to me?’
David then answers his own question. He is God, and is sovereign over all. He is there and worthy of praise even when the fan is being barraged with excrement. It is no wonder Jesus spoke the same words as David when he hung on the cross. It just hit me then, that when Jesus cries “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”, there’s more to it than just the pain, he knew that psalm, and implicit in his cry is the knowledge that his father was there with him and that he knew what he was doing.
After hearing Craig’s experience with divorce, it makes me pray that I’ll never have to deal with it in my marriage, and it was also a wake-up call to me to not take Jen for granted.
Jen, I want you to know that I love you more than anyone else in this world. I want to live with you until the day I die, and I want you to help me be honest with you when things aren’t the best. I love you more than the day we married and I stand by my promise to love you to the exclusion of all others as long as we both shall live.
Anyone who sees me do something stupid, or sees me doing things that could start me on the path to ruining my marriage, feel free to slap me and let me know. In fact, don’t just feel free to, actually do it.
In other news: Dave, nice to meet you too, sorry I didn’t say goodbye, I turned around to say it and you’d vanished somewhere. Anyway, goodbye 
RodeoClown: can see far more clearly now why God hates divorce (but not divorcees).
December 7th, 2005 at 8:38 pm
sigh
how touching to know that i don’t have to yet worry about marriage or divorce, the perks of being young and foolish…. in all honesty it kinda sucks at times coz i look at you and jen and can see how strong your love is and i get jealous. basically i know love that strong, but i don’t think people actually return it, and i know you’ll tell me i’m stupid and you’ll always love me blah blah blah, but you know what i mean is different
you and jen were placed together on earth by God for his purpose, whereas i kinda look at me sometimes and go, wow what a joke, God’s purpose for me is simple comic relief, when he gets stressed he can sit and laugh at my stupidity, but i know then people will tell me again i’m being an idiot or an angsty teen, i’m not trying to alright!
but seriously, i don’t know if God has it planned for me to ever find that one person who will be my ultimate forever, i mean like, as i said, i love people, but i don’t think anyone can return it to that extent. i mean, a very close friend of mine said to me the other day that i had alot of love in me and he thought that was really great, but i then pointed out that my love has been the cause of every one of my downfalls.
love is powerful. but for someone like me, it is often undesired.
and as i wish it would go away there are other times when i know it is the most beautiful thing God has created, his love for me was strong enough that he gave jesus. but sometimes i need the human love, not just the divine, which is really selfish i know…
i guess i’ve come to an impasse….i suck
thinks she is crzy and deluded and needs to be void of emotion passion and misunderstanding
January 3rd, 2006 at 2:45 pm
Comic relief is something sorely needed in this world. Don’t write yourself off so fast.
And sorry about the huge delay in posting a reply