The Rodeo

Mat wants to play Gamecube with me. He used to sit next to me while I played and just watch, every now and again having a game of Rogue Leader (which pretty much involved giving an 18 month old the controller, switching to the training level and watching him fly in circles with a huge grin on my face and intense concentration on his).

This morning he told me he wanted to play Mario with me. I told him that maybe we could play Super Monkey Ball instead. He thought that was a good idea as monkeys are “pretty funny”. So coming up is Super Monkey Ball Saturday. I love it when he displays an interest in my hobbies.

My Resident Evil 4 disc was sitting on the lounge last night. Which was slightly odd as the last place I remember putting it was in the Gamecube several weeks ago.

I went to replace it and saw that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was in it’s place. I don’t like the boy playing with my expensive toys when I’m not around, but at least he has good taste.

RodeoClown:’s grandmother-in-law had a pet monkey. Once upon a time.

… is made up of nerds.

I received an enigmatic message from Jen the other day whilst at work. It consisted of “hello” and a blog address. My dear wife has taken up blogging. Hoorah!

My father (Big Col) is the head of IT at Wentworth Falls TAFE (although Outdoor Rec is truly his dream). Last weekend I saw a blog address scrawled across a notepad on his desk. Dad has a blog.

Annelise (sister the youngest) has had a blog for some time now. A blur of emotions and colour, she is more than happy to take your comments. Once she finishes her HSC, I think she should write Teen Angst: The Musical (an autobiography in song).

Mum has commented once on my blog, but she is insanely busy, so no online presence (that I know of) yet.

The elder of my sisters doesn’t read stuff on the internet. She doesn’t like it. So she won’t know when I say she smells of mouldy cabbage :).

RodeoClown: nerding it up.

I organised a (small) surprise party for Jen last night, as it’s her birthday today.
It was pretty cool - Jen was the first to arrive and I was the last, so it was kind of inverted. She didn’t realise it was a party till after dinner when we broke out the cake and presents, so it all worked out nicely.

We had a game of Ticket to Ride:Märklin and enjoyed some delicious cake and brownies.

Happy Birthday Jen.

RodeoClown: surprise!

Note: This is primarily for Jen, but if you are reading, feel free to offer suggestions to her in the comments…

Happy birthday my most wonderful of wives!*

I know I gave you your present last night, but I have hidden a few small somethings around the house for you to find today as well. I love you.

The Clues
1) There’s loads of notes, but only one you can take. - found
2) I left something under the mat. - found
3) In an American yard plus four inches. - found

*I only have one, though.

RodeoClown: wishes you a happy birthday, should it be today (so pretty much just Jen. And Andy).

Son The Elder climbed onto our bed this morning and announced that he was sick. And needed blood.
Jen told me that this is not the first time the red thirst has gripped our son. Vampirism would also explain his nocturnal habits and his strange reluctance to sleep at night.

Don’t know why he loves garlic bread so much, though…

RodeoClown: has fathered a hypochondriac leech.

Yesterday I went with my Dad and cousin Matthew on the Bicycle NSW Spring Cycle. It was a ride from North Sydney to Homebush Bay - 50Km. For someone who hasn’t ridden much at all for the last few years, it was quite a shock to the system.

Great fun, but both my legs cramped up completely while trying to ride up the BIG hill about 35Km in. I’ll hopefully be doing this again next year too.

RodeoClown: cyclic.

As of tomorrow, I’ll be working an extra day each week from the comfort of my own home (bringing the total to two days).

This means two days a week I get an extra three minutes sleep-in as Mat will come and wake me up instead of my alarm clock.

And this is all thanks to the magic of the internet (well, that and my boss) - I can log into my work computer from home and do everything I would normally do at work, minus four hours of commuting. Hooray again, I say!

The only thing that could make this any better would be for Remote Desktop to support dual monitors :S

RodeoClown: another happy telecommuter.

Did I say I’d get three minutes sleep in?

Today - 5:22am: “Daddy - need cuddle and kiss!”.

Alarm - 5:20am.

RodeoClown: awake.

And this morning Matty did too. Got undressed and then did his own nappy (pull-up), pants and shirt. The only help he got was me telling him he’d stuck his leg through the wrong hole.

Jesse cut his first two teeth this week.

My little boys are all growing up.

RodeoClown: older.

I’ve been holding onto this image all year.

The run-down: some guy doesn’t like the religion of Santa Claus and so puts up a billboard to make people think about not lying to their kids. People get all crazy and angry because someone dares to suggest that we shouldn’t tell our kids about Santa. Click the picture to read the story.

Note: as far as I can tell, this guy isn’t a Christian, so it’s not even some religious wacko who thinks it’s wrong.

The whole deal with Santa kind of makes me sad - we give presents to one another at Christmas to celebrate Jesus’ birth and it should be a time of joy and thanksgiving. Instead it becomes a huge consumer-fest with people having to buy the right presents, and kids getting upset because they didn’t get the latest toy they wanted.

I also hate the idea of lying to my kids - telling them about an imaginary fat man who gives them presents if they are good. This subverts the whole reason why Jesus was born and died - it was grace, not deserved in any way. The whole concept of Santa is kind of distressing to kids too - there is someone who judges them and watches every thing they do, just waiting for an excuse to give them a lump of coal at Christmas (kind of like some people’s view of God…). Although even this view has been subverted - everyone gets presents now, even if they have been naughty. Rich kids get more and better toys… why is that again, parents?

I’m not going to be lying to my kids. Ruth lists a good way to broach the whole topic with your own kids, and basically outlines what Jen and I have been planning to do anyway. Santa won’t be visiting our house this year - or any year. We celebrate Christmas, and will be giving our kids gifts from us to them in recognition of Christ’s free gift to us. They won’t have to earn it - just accept it.

I love my kids and don’t want to lie to them - I’d urge you to do the same.

RodeoClown: seeing red.

My biggest little sister is getting married today. She and Ray (her fiancé - at least for the next six hours) have been going out longer than Jen and I.

I pray that they have a good wedding and a great marriage.

Here’s a (not at all doctored) photo of the happy couple holding my youngest son.

RodeoClown: good to see her go happy for them both.

Today Jesse is double the age he was when he was born.

I love watching these boys grow up.

RodeoClown: a proud dad

A recent blog meme has hit nearly every site I read regularly. I guessed it wouldn’t be long before I was tagged. So the deal is, I write five things that you didn’t know about me. And then once you’ve read them, you do the same*. Gives us all a little insight into each others’ psyches.

So… starting from the top:

5 - I talk to myself. Constantly. I have a permanent conversation running in my head, and it occasionally spills over into the Real World - usually while I’m walking - resulting in frequent strange looks and amused smiles.

These conversations often involve obscure (im)possibilities: should someone from medieval times be mysteriously transported to the twenty-first century via a freak temporal vortex, or if a genetically engineered velociraptor with the brain of a sadistic criminal is hunting you down; call me, I know what to do**.

4 - I like walking with my eyes closed. Around home, and when I’m out, I’ll often walk using only my memory and sense of touch to navigate. If you see me walking with one hand running along a banister or wall, there’s a good chance I’m feeling my way around. Either that, or it’s just because…

3 - I have to sense the world. I love the smell of my wife and my kids and the scent of books, new and old. I can’t resist playing with every toy my kids get, feeling the textures and hearing the sounds. I savour the taste of my meals, and I run my hands over the table, just because. When I remember things, I remember what they felt like, what they smelt like and what they taste and sound like before I remember how they look.

2 - I love words. I love reading them and thinking about them and manipulating them. I love inventing them and figuring how to put them together. English is like a jigsaw, and I relish slotting each word into place and conjuring an image or a feeling in the one consuming them.

I read every thing I see, books, signs, the back of the laundry powder. Losing the ability to read would be like losing a limb. Or worse.

1 - I crave attention. I guess that’s no surprise to those who’ve met me. I have to fight not to hurl myself into the middle of the conversation, or to say something funny. I love making people laugh.

To make the one I love most smile, that is my greatest goal.

RodeoClown: revealed.

* Only, about yourself, not about me**.

** Oh, and I have to nominate five others to participate. Jen, Ruth, Sim, Anna and Michael. Consider yourselves tagged.

*** On the other hand, I can never figure out what to say when I forget to take the bins out****.

**** Thankfully, if I forget, my neighbour usually does it for me - thanks Kendall!

After reading this, I only have one thing to say:

If you are considering murdering your unborn child, don’t. There are thousands of would-be parents who can love the child you truly believe you cannot. If no-one else can, I will take them and love them for you.

RodeoClown: ashamed

 Update: Read Dez’s comment. It is important.

I’m 25 today! Hooray!

“Happy Birthday”s:

Ken - 12:00 (and 38 seconds) - Skype
Dave - 12:02 - Email
Jen - 5:58 - Kiss on the cheek
Rohan - 6:07 - Handshake
Matty - 6:10 - Phone call
Amanda - 6:23 - SMS
Callum - 8:26 - Email
Jesse - 8:36 - Phone call
Annelise - 9:21 - Email
Dusan - 9:57 - Next desk over
Karl - 10:24 - Phone call
Sim - 10:57 - MSN Messenger
Dad - 13:13 - MSN Messenger
Craig - 13:29 - Blog
Hogansens - 13:46 - SMS
Brenden - 15:46 - At his desk
Jacky - 15:56 - Yahoo messenger
Nana - 18:45 - Card
Mum - 19:05 - Phone call (from me)
Felix - 20:23 - Email
Dave P - 20:54 - Facebook

RodeoClown: having an OK day!

Jesse just fed himself with a spoon.
For the first time ever!

Hooray - one less thing for us to do for him.

RodeoClown: spoon!

My resignation was emailed last Thursday and a signed copy delivered on Monday. July 27th will be my last day at Compuware/Proxima (I liked it better when we were Proxima).

I’ll probably cry. The people here are great.

My new job looks pretty neat too.

It’s near Martin Place, a little company in an little Babushka office.

Protecht Advisory.

They We provide a risk management system.

Should be interesting.

RodeoClown: resigned.

Updated my blog.
See if you can spot the change.
Kudos to the first spotter.

RodeoClown: ever-changing.

Attention: Potential Parents

I know that of the several readers I still have, there are at least several considering reproducing. I present here a few of the downsides that come with spawning little humans.

1 - Bodily fluids - small children manage to expel somewhere in the order of three times their body weight in fluids every day (and more when they are sick). The unrelenting tide of filth that exudes from kids manages to get everywhere. No clothing, furniture or orifice* is safe.

2 - Sleep deprivation - I’ve never been drunk, but I think that the reduction in regular sleep means I’m often worse than the alcoholics that wander the train hurling abuse at anyone they make eye contact with. More often than not, it is the spouse that ends up on the receiving end of this enforced sleeplessness. The reduction in working IQ is also considerable - imagine you never finished third grade - that level of intelligence you’d kill for.

3 - Reversion to the 3rd person - Daddy is often found referring to himself as though he was an external entity. Even at work. This lack of personal pronouns has a profound effect on his mind. Does ‘I’ even exist any more, or is it merely a hallucination.

4 - Money? What’s that? - OK, this one isn’t quite that bad, but it is a fact that small children cost a fair amount to run. You can get by without costing too much, but you won’t likely be able to impulse buy that new plasma TV, or go out to a fancy restaurant more than once every blue moon.

5 - Lack of personal space - As your mini-people get slightly less miniature, you will find they want to climb all over you. But only when you are trying to do something, like eat. Or sleep. Oh yes, a little man launching himself onto your back while you try and recover from the lack of sleep is an almost certainty. And for someone so small, they manage to always hit the most vulnerable spots**.

There is, however, an upside to having children, and it is this:

RodeoClown: loves his kids.

*I’ve heard it suggested that the worst place to cop a spew from a small kid is in the mouth. This is bunk. The worst is in the ear - you can spit out anything that lands in your cake-hole and remove the flavour with copious mints, toothpaste and mouthwash, but when it gets in your ear, weeks later you’ll still feel the squidging. It’s impossible to remove.

**Yes, that’s exactly what I meant.

Here’s the first photo of #3:

We went for an ultrasound today and after measuring her, the ultrasonic lady said that he was due February 14, 2008. Which is about two weeks earlier than we were expecting. It also means we were too late for the nuchal translucency test, which has to be done by thirteen weeks (we are at fifteen).

RodeoClown: daddy

Australia Post is getting sloppy.

Today we had yet another item turn up late. It arrived in the last few days at my parents’ house, and had been sent on August 19th. For those of you reading this in the future, the date today is the 21st of September.

This bit of mail, sent from one suburb over took over a month and five years to arrive.

That’s right, today Jen and I received a letter congratulating us on our recently announced engagement. And we have been married four and a half years now.

My hat’s off to you, workers of Australia Post, for your tireless efforts to get the mail through, rain, hail, or temporal vortex!

RodeoClown: wonders if the senders were annoyed we never thanked them for the note…

Son [The Elder] came running into our room this morning. Our room being where my wife was still lying in bed after I had left for work.

Said child rapidly announced that he had taken his brother’s pants and nappy off because he needed to do a wee.

Needless to say, that announcement shook Jen into wakefulness whence she raced to the toilet, expecting to find the bathroom glistening with moisture, and emanating the not-so-faint aroma of fresh urine.

Fortunately, Son [The Younger], managed to hold on long enough for Jen to hoist him onto the toilet where he was then able to relieve himself without requiring a hose down for either the room or himself.

Turns out Son [T.E.] had tried to lift Son [T.Y.] by himself, but wasn’t strong enough. Oh well, he’ll get stronger.

RodeoClown: toilet training is easy when you let the kids do it for you.

Matty is not fond of scissors, and by extension, hairdressers. So I am his personal stylist.
And sometimes I get to have some fun.

He no longer sports the ‘hawk - he’s been shaved back to a ‘1′.
But it was fun while it lasted.

RodeoClown: barber extraordinaire.

One thousand, three hundred and sixty days ago we had Matthias, six hundred and fifty five days ago we had Jesse, and in thirty-five days we are due for number three. My life plans lie in tatters on that labour ward floor, cleaned up nearly four years ago.

And you know what… I don’t care.

Follow the link and then click on the song title to get the mp3.

You Ruined Everything - Jonathan Coulton

RodeoClown: wouldn’t change a thing.

For the last nine months, Jennifer has been harbouring a growing child of indeterminate sex.
Quantum mechanics seems to suggest that as long as we did not check the gender of this small person, he or she would actually have both, or neither, gender-specific equipment sets. At the moment of birth however, the quantum wave function would collapse, causing one of the states to become apparent.

Suffice it to say, at 7:36pm last night (the 15th of February 2008), it collapsed well and truly, leaving me the ecstatic father of a new baby girl!

Aravis Rose Tyrrell, whether as a result of wave function collapse, quantum decoherence, or just God deciding it was well and truly time, arrived safe and sound at Nepean Private Hospital, and readily attached herself to the nearest source of colostorum, which just happened to belong to my aforementioned wife. Both of them are doing well.

See how good she looks!

You can see more photos and stats here.

RodeoClown: father of the heisenbub!

Baby #2 is no longer a baby. But he is still 2.
2 awesome that is!

Happy birthday Jester!

RodeoClown: also fighting the man. But not too much.

I’m not really sure where the time has gone, but the little dude I caught at 5:32am on one fine Tuesday morning, has turned four.

He’s doin’ fine!

One of my wife’s traditions is to ask the kids what cake they want from the Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake book.

Matty chose the rocket cake. Jen’s not planning on making one again - it was quite tricky. But also awesome and tasty.

Clinkers, freckles and fruit sticks - how can you go wrong?

RodeoClown: loves his biggest boy to the moon. And back.

I got woken up at 10:45 last night by the sound of someone screaming my name from the other end of the house. Matty could hardly breathe and so we ended up rushing down to the hospital to get him sorted out.

By the time we were 5 minutes down the road, his breathing was much better, but still a bit wheezy. We debated turning around, but figured we may as well take him to the hospital and just make sure everything was OK.

Turns out he has croup, and the doctor said it was a good thing we brought him in. After a quick dose of steroids, we brought him back home. Tucked into bed at 2:30am. And back out at 6:15… ah well, he seems happy enough now.

It’s a bit awe-inspiring how a disease considered a killer not so long ago is now just a minor irritation, that can be sorted out with a quick swig of a clear liquid.

Many thanks to God for letting our kids have access to such healthcare.

RodeoClown: tired.

You’ve been asking for them…

so here they are.

RodeoClown: has a great family